Monday, June 1, 2009

Accidentally in Love


In the past five years I've experienced just enough heartache with sheep to keep the thinnest sliver of my soul aloof. Everything hoped for can be taken away. Dreams can be dashed to pieces. Goals can change. Circumstances can be defeating.
So why is my eye drawn straight to Little Miss Darla Gay every time I approach the pasture? Why does her attention mean more to me than that of the lambs that are technically my best-ever crop? Why do I delight in her softness even though her fleece will probably be long and double-coated? Why does her gentle, serene nature impress me more than the hilarious antics of the more boisterous lambs?
Because I love her. Accidentally. I didn't mean to love her. I only even considered keeping her because I'm selling her sire and her dam is going to live with another shepherdess.
I love her; and it is a vulnerable feeling. What if I loose her? What if I have to sell her to make room for my goals? Love equals pain in my heart if anything should happen.
Welcome to shepherding, Sabrina...

7 comments:

Rayna said...

I can relate to every word you've just said...*sigh* Hang in there, there's always room for sentiment ;-)

Kara said...

Oh beautifully said and I hear you!

Nancy K. said...

How could you NOT love yer??

You never had a chance!

;-)

Becky Utecht said...

And she's a little doll! I'm glad you get to keep her. :-)

Michelle at Boulderneigh said...

I can so relate. I still miss my beautiful Valentine, sold (to a very good home) because she didn't fit into my polled breeding program. And I STILL wish I had kept sweet Blizz as our wether instead of Browning (Brian's choice). This year I get to keep my two ewe lambs, which warms my heart no end. I am not thinking "what if," just loving them.

Gail V said...

Oh, what a fat and sweet little girl. Of COURSE you love her!

Karen B. said...

I'm glad you couldn't resist her-obviously she's pretty special. Thanks, it was delightful to read this morning. You've put your thoughts together beautifully.